The things you don't forget
I went to a very small Catholic school with an average of about 80 students per year.
It's been 13 years since I graduated and for the life of me I cannot remember most of my classmates names.
But there are some things you never forget about people.
M - in early grade school M took a crap in her pants during class. Everyone freaked out at the stench and the teacher had to gingerly lead her out of the classroom and help her clean up. From that day on her lunchbox contained (1) her thermos with juice, (2) her sandwich in a colored plastic sandwich bag - where have these bags gone btw?, and (3) a sandwich bag with a pair of underpants, for emergencies
K - in late grade school I was bored with class and was looking around the room in search of something to occupy me. To my horror I saw K with her finger in her nose. I watched in awe as she pulled her finger out, rolled the goo around in her hands, and stuck the motherlode in her mouth. Up till highschool I called her the boogermaster.
MB - we used to have a lot of races in PE, and the frog-jump race was a popular game. M was chubby and one time during the frog jump, she lost her balance, fell backwards, used her arms to break the fall, and broke them both (yes, both her arms). She went to school with casts on both forearms looking a bit like the Mummy. She even needed one of our classmates to write down answers for her during exams.
S - S was a lot older than me, I believe she was in late highschool when i was in middle grade school. During the height of the Madonna / Borderline craze, S decided to get a perm just like Madonna's. She burnt half of one side of her face (dunno how). Luckily, Madonna also wore these large off-center bows on her head, so S had one just like her idol's - except the bow covered one cheek as well.
G - G is actually one of my good friends. She was once copying from me during a logic exam. The teacher saw her glancing around and asked her
S - had the dirtiest fingernails ever. During 6th grade lab the students would fight over her fingers to get dirt for our microscope slides.
R - a real snitch, this is a conversation we had in 3rd grade.
* "You children of whores!!!" but really, the vitriol is lost in translation.
M - she was about 180lbs when we were in early high school. I was sitting indian-style with my hands spread on the floor. She was carrying her chair so she could sit in front and listen better to the teacher. She placed the chair with one leg on my hand, AND SAT ON IT!!!! I almost fucking killed her.
Ms. M - our Phys. Ed. / Health teacher who told us never to sit on the floor because germs would crawl into our underpants and into our "flowers" Her words not mine.
K - our broody classmate who had a botched (and I believe halfhearted) attempt at suicide. She tried to slash her wrists. She concealed the scars by using a pair of wristbands that earned her the nickname "Erap".
C and L - naughty classmates who really enjoyed our 6th grade Sex Ed class because they got to ask Ms. P., our Science teacher, the strangest questions. Like:
It's been 13 years since I graduated and for the life of me I cannot remember most of my classmates names.
But there are some things you never forget about people.
M - in early grade school M took a crap in her pants during class. Everyone freaked out at the stench and the teacher had to gingerly lead her out of the classroom and help her clean up. From that day on her lunchbox contained (1) her thermos with juice, (2) her sandwich in a colored plastic sandwich bag - where have these bags gone btw?, and (3) a sandwich bag with a pair of underpants, for emergencies
K - in late grade school I was bored with class and was looking around the room in search of something to occupy me. To my horror I saw K with her finger in her nose. I watched in awe as she pulled her finger out, rolled the goo around in her hands, and stuck the motherlode in her mouth. Up till highschool I called her the boogermaster.
MB - we used to have a lot of races in PE, and the frog-jump race was a popular game. M was chubby and one time during the frog jump, she lost her balance, fell backwards, used her arms to break the fall, and broke them both (yes, both her arms). She went to school with casts on both forearms looking a bit like the Mummy. She even needed one of our classmates to write down answers for her during exams.
S - S was a lot older than me, I believe she was in late highschool when i was in middle grade school. During the height of the Madonna / Borderline craze, S decided to get a perm just like Madonna's. She burnt half of one side of her face (dunno how). Luckily, Madonna also wore these large off-center bows on her head, so S had one just like her idol's - except the bow covered one cheek as well.
G - G is actually one of my good friends. She was once copying from me during a logic exam. The teacher saw her glancing around and asked her
Teacher: G! What are you doing????M - Famously fainted from dieting for the prom and had a head that smelled like kalamansi. B and I used to play a game where we would surreptitiously sniff M's head and see who could bear it the longest.
G: Ummm, cheating.
S - had the dirtiest fingernails ever. During 6th grade lab the students would fight over her fingers to get dirt for our microscope slides.
R - a real snitch, this is a conversation we had in 3rd grade.
Mai: (doing something she's not supposed to do)Ms. D. - our religion teacher who became our class adviser during our first year of high school. Being in an all-girl school, we used to amuse ourselves with kiddie things like saying dirty words over and over, with someone saying a word, and the rest of the class sniggering / giggling / howling with laughter. Ms. D caught a bunch of us sitting on the floor after class and laughing to dirty words instead of cleaning the classroom. We didn't hear her telling us to start cleaning as we were too busy with "DYOGA!" "Hahahahahaha!!!" "P__P__!" "Hahahahahahah!!" S_S_!" Haaaahaaaahaaa!" until Ms. D, our religion teacher I repeat, screamed out "Putangina ninyong lahat*!!!!" and stared at us enraged. We were shocked silent for a while, until a classmate of mine goes "T_T_!" "Hahahahahahaha!!!!!" She resigned the next day.
R: Hey!!! You're not supposed to do that!
Mai: So??? What are you going to do about it?
R: I'll tell on you!
Mai: Do it, you BITCH!!!!
R: Teacherrrrrrrrr!
Teacher: Yes R. What is it?
Mai: (trying to look innocent)
R: She called me a BITCH!!!!
Teacher: Mai!!! What did you say???!!!
Mai: Ahhh, Witch. I said I was a witch...ehe...heh...heh...
* "You children of whores!!!" but really, the vitriol is lost in translation.
M - she was about 180lbs when we were in early high school. I was sitting indian-style with my hands spread on the floor. She was carrying her chair so she could sit in front and listen better to the teacher. She placed the chair with one leg on my hand, AND SAT ON IT!!!! I almost fucking killed her.
Ms. M - our Phys. Ed. / Health teacher who told us never to sit on the floor because germs would crawl into our underpants and into our "flowers" Her words not mine.
K - our broody classmate who had a botched (and I believe halfhearted) attempt at suicide. She tried to slash her wrists. She concealed the scars by using a pair of wristbands that earned her the nickname "Erap".
C and L - naughty classmates who really enjoyed our 6th grade Sex Ed class because they got to ask Ms. P., our Science teacher, the strangest questions. Like:
- Ms P. Is it ok to have sex then if you are careful not to get pregnant? You could just do it in the butt diba?
- Ms P. is it ok to wear stockings and a pantiliner instead of panties?
- Ms. P. should everyone do it during their period so they dont get pregnant?
- Ms. P. Is it a sin to eat sperm?
posted by mai at 11:56 pm
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