No-Good Defining Events During My Formative Years

This should serve as defense in court

1. Getting locked in the toilet during a blackout for the whole school period in nursery school 3 yrs old
2. Having a cockroach land on my head and hang on tenaciously despite my horrified shrieks
3. Visiting the 3 chicks I got during a birthday party to find them headless in their box (I always suspected my aunt's cat Charlie) 6 yrs old
4. Taking a bath in my lola's house and having my cousin open the door to let all his playmates in (Look! Its a girl!), and cowering behind the giant timba 5 yrs old
5. Being told by my mom that I had made her blind and having to lead her around the house for a week (I had poked her in the eye with my finger) 5 yrs old
6. Getting spanked with a stick by my teacher after I jammed my pencil in my classmates nose, with the eraser being left in his nose after I pulled the pencil out. 6 yrs old
7. Seeing "Sa Init ng Apoy" and "Ang mga Kamay ni Hilda" with my yaya
8. Finding a betamax tape of "Sleeping Beauty" in my uncle's room and playing it, not knowing it was "Sleeping Beauty XXX" 8 yrs old
9. Seeing my pet fish barbecued by my cousin 6 yrs old
10. Reading "the Exorcist" 9 yrs old
11. Believing my mom when she said she could read my mind and knew when I was lying
12. Not having any baby teeth (the enamel of my teeth melted due to medication leaving me with puntod-like brown stumps)
13. Having recurrent nightmares about a giant frog stomping on me after I had toyed with a tiny frog in our garden
14. Being made to wear St. Michael tanktop and panty ensembles in public until I was in the 2nd grade (to match with my younger sisters)

More to follow as the memories come back :P