At the Opthalmologist's Office

Eyes by Cynthia K

Mai: Hi! Could I please have my glasses repaired. The screw holding one lens in has fallen off. And I need to have my eyes checked as well.

Opth 1: Ah Not a prob. Give me your glasses, I'll fix them while Opth 2 checks your eyes.

Opth 2: Sit in front of the machine please. Now look at the house. Focus your eye beyond it. Hmmmm (fiddle fiddle with the machine) Hmmmmmmmmmmm (fiddle fiddle with the machine) Hmmmmmmmmm (fiddle fiddle with the machine) Tsk Tsk. You can't see anything without your glasses.

Mai: Am I legally blind?

Opth 2: Well....almost.

Opth 2 asks Mai to sit in the testing seat, lets her try on some lenses, lets her read some letters on the wall. Mai's grade has gone up again.

Opth 2: Grabe, you've got really high myopia, AND really high astigmatism. Tsk tsk. That's quite unusual.

Mai: Yeah, I had laser surgery 3 years ago, but it was really more to seal cracks in my eyeballs than to lower my grade.

Opth 2: Ok, both eyes' grades are higher. We can get you new lenses. If you want new frames you can try the ones over there.

Mai: Oki (tries on a couple and selects two) I wont get the expensive ones because I'm trying to save some money. These 2 please, what do you think??

Opth 1: Take the green ones! They are sooo USO!

Mai: Ummm, I'll take the silver ones then. How much?

Opth 2 calls lensmaker and discusses.

Opth 2: (to Mia) We can't use the airwear lenses you had previously because they can't take the grade. We've got to use Nikon lenses, they're thinner and you can actually use glasses that wont look like youre wearing cokebottles.

Mia: Ok, cool. Are they expensive?

Opth 2: Ok...(computes...adds discount as Mai has been buying glasses from them for the last 20 years) Hang on, calm down....They cost PHP 14,500.00

Mai: Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye new jeans, goodbye Sorrento chairs for our wedding.

I should wear them and pretend they are Ruby Juliets.